Stuff That Sucks #1

I just realized how much weather forecast segments on local Calgary television (and I assume elsewhere) suck. Really. I challenge you to watch one and tell me it doesn’t suck. Let me demonstrate the divide between what I expect out of a weather forecast, and what I am given

What I want:

  • Do I need to wear pants?
  • Do I need a jacket?
  • If I wear a hat, will it blow off my head?
  • If I wear multiple shirts, will I sweat?
  • Will there be puddles?
  • Will I require sunscreen?
  • What are the chances of me being hit by a meteor?
  • A hot weather girl

This is what I get:

  • Green spots on a map, the majority of which is land upon which I will not ever be travelling on.
  • The location of low pressure systems
  • The location of “The Jetstream” (yeah!)
  • Pictures of funnel clouds west of Balzac
  • The revelation that said funnel clouds do not contain any “tornadic” activity
  • An aging “meteorologist.” (now if they actually talked about meteors I might be happy)

As you can most likely tell, I am a pragmatic man.