I just realized how much weather forecast segments on local Calgary television (and I assume elsewhere) suck. Really. I challenge you to watch one and tell me it doesn’t suck. Let me demonstrate the divide between what I expect out of a weather forecast, and what I am given
What I want:
- Do I need to wear pants?
- Do I need a jacket?
- If I wear a hat, will it blow off my head?
- If I wear multiple shirts, will I sweat?
- Will there be puddles?
- Will I require sunscreen?
- What are the chances of me being hit by a meteor?
- A hot weather girl
This is what I get:
- Green spots on a map, the majority of which is land upon which I will not ever be travelling on.
- The location of low pressure systems
- The location of “The Jetstream” (yeah!)
- Pictures of funnel clouds west of Balzac
- The revelation that said funnel clouds do not contain any “tornadic” activity
- An aging “meteorologist.” (now if they actually talked about meteors I might be happy)
As you can most likely tell, I am a pragmatic man.